Disclaimer: this one is a little graphic. I don’t mean to offend any of my three loyal
readers, but I don’t want to censor myself either. Please read at your own discretion and, in
the spirit of the great tradition of vacation bible schools that are getting
underway in big and small towns across the country, try not to judge me.
My post
yesterday about bad ideas a few morons thought were good has me obsessing on
the topic just a bit. I’ll move on to
something else shortly, but first I have one more to share. There’s a peculiar urban legend floating
around about a former WVU football player, high on PCP, who lopped off his own
penis with a knife and threw it in the bushes while running from the police
through the streets of Morgantown one night back in the mid-1990s. Maybe the Angel Dust (see, I really am cool…
I know drug slang) caused a terrible hallucination where he thought it was a
snake attacking him. Maybe he was well
endowed and it was slowing him down. I’m
not really sure why he did this.
Sometime after ridding himself of the offending appendage, he apparently dove in
the Monongahela River and swam off. The police
found him and his penis hours later and presumably miles apart, and the story
has a happy ending. Some highly skilled
surgeon was actually able to reattach it and restore function. Has anyone else heard this story or did I make
it up in my crazy head? Regardless, swimming
in the Mon is just about the worst idea I’ve ever heard. Cutting your own penis off isn’t real smart
either.
Climbing the
kitchen counter to get your own ice cream is another bad idea.
Who was the player? Doesn't ring a bell. Bad ideas - I think you've tapped into something that will keep this blog going for years. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's a great story but has to be fiction. Definitely would have bleed to death.
ReplyDeleteTrue story, Chuck. It was Darrick Wiley. he did the deed with hedge clippers. I remember reading the article n the Journal. You can find copies of the AP story online.
ReplyDeleteWinner, winner, chicken dinner! I knew someone would remember the name. Thanks, Shawn!
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